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Next weekend?'
'What? Er hahahaha, you mean the weekend after this one?'
'Yeeeeees,, next weekend,' he said, with an encouraging, slightly patronizing air, as if he had been teaching me to orbitz airline ticket speak English.
'Oooh. Yes, please,' I said, forgetting the ice-queen mantra in the excitement.
Next thing he orbitz airline ticket up and orbitz airline ticket asked if I wanted to orbitz airline ticket come round the corner for orbitz airline ticket lunch. We arranged to orbitz airline ticket meet outside the building so no one would suspect anything and orbitz airline ticket it was all rather thrilling and orbitz airline ticket clandestine until he said, as we walked towards the pub, 'Listen, Bridge, I'm really sorry, I've fucked up.'
'Why? What?' I said, even, as I spoke, remembering my mum and orbitz airline ticket wondering if I ought to orbitz airline ticket be orbitz airline ticket saying 'Pardon?'
'I can't make Prague next weekend. I don't know what I was thinking about. But maybe we'll do it another time.' A siren blared in my head and orbitz airline ticket a huge neon sign started flashing with Sharon's head in the middle going, 'FUCKWITTAGE, FUCKWITTAGE'.
I stood stock still on the pavement, glowering up at orbitz airline ticket him.
'What's the matter?' he said, looking amused.
'I'm fed up with you,' orbitz airline ticket said furiously. 'I told you quite specifically the first time you tried orbitz airline ticket orbitz airline ticket undo my skirt that I am not into emotional fuckwittage. It was very bad to orbitz airline ticket carry on flirting, sleep with me then not even follow it up with a phone call, and orbitz airline ticket try to orbitz airline ticket pretend the whole thing never happened. Did you just ask me to orbitz airline ticket Prague to orbitz airline ticket make sure you orbitz airline ticket still sleep with me if you wanted to orbitz airline ticket as if we were on some sort of orbitz airline ticket ladder?'
'A ladder, Bridge?, said Daniel, What sort of orbitz airline ticket ladder?'
'Shut up,' I bristled crossly. 'It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and orbitz airline ticket treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.'
'What about you, this week? First orbitz airline ticket completely ignore me like some Hitler Youth ice-maiden, then you turn into an irresistible sex kitten, looking at orbitz airline ticket me over the computer with not so much 'come-to-bed' as just 'come' eyes, and orbitz airline ticket now suddenly you're Jeremy Paxman.'
We stared at orbitz airline ticket each other transfixed like two African animals at orbitz airline ticket the start of orbitz airline ticket a fight on a David Attenborough programme. Then suddenly Daniel turned on his heel and orbitz airline ticket walked orbitz airline ticket to orbitz airline ticket the pub, leaving me to orbitz airline ticket stagger, stunned, back to orbitz airline ticket orbitz airline ticket office, where I dived to orbitz airline ticket the loo, locked the door and orbitz airline ticket sat down, staring crazily at orbitz airline ticket the door with one eye. Oh God.
5 p.m. Har har. Am marvellous. Feeling v. pleased with self. Had top-level post-works crisis meeting in Cafe Rouge with Sharon, Jude and orbitz airline ticket Tom, who were all delighted with, the Daniel outcome, each convinced it was because I had followed their advice. Also Jude had heard survey on the radio that by the turn of orbitz airline ticket orbitz airline ticket millennium a third of orbitz airline ticket all households will be orbitz airline ticket single, therefore proving that at orbitz airline ticket last we are no longer tragic freaks. Shazzer guffawed and orbitz airline ticket said, 'One in three? Nine out of orbitz airline ticket ten, more like.' Sharon maintains men - present company (i.e. Tom) excepted, obviously - are so catastrophically unevolved that soon they will orbitz airline ticket be orbitz airline ticket kept by women as pets for orbitz airline ticket sex, therefore presumably these orbitz airline ticket not count as shared households as the men will be orbitz airline ticket kept outside in kennels. Anyway, feeling v. empowered. Tremendous. Think might read bit of orbitz airline ticket Susan Faludi's Backlash.
5 a.m. Oh God, am so unhappy about Daniel. I love him.
Wednesday 15 March
9st, alcohol units 5 (disgrace: urine of orbitz airline ticket Satan), cigarettes 14 (weed of orbitz airline ticket Satan - will give up on birthday), calories 1795.
Humph. Have woken up v. fed up. On top of orbitz airline ticket everything, only two weeks to orbitz airline ticket go until birthday, when will have to orbitz airline ticket face up to orbitz airline ticket the fact that another entire year has gone by, during which everyone else except me has mutated into Smug Married, having children plop, plop, plop, left right and orbitz airline ticket centre and orbitz airline ticket making hundreds of orbitz airline ticket thousands of orbitz airline ticket pounds.oorbitz-airline-ticket orrbitz-airline-ticket orbbitz-airline-ticket orbiitz-airline-ticket orbittz-airline-ticket orbitzz-airline-ticket orbitz--airline-ticket orbitz-aairline-ticket orbitz-aiirline-ticket orbitz-airrline-ticket orbitz-airlline-ticket orbitz-airliine-ticket orbitz-airlinne-ticket orbitz-airlinee-ticket orbitz-airline--ticket orbitz-airline-tticket orbitz-airline-tiicket orbitz-airline-ticcket orbitz-airline-tickket orbitz-airline-tickeet orbitz-airline-tickett rbitz-airline-ticket obitz-airline-ticket oritz-airline-ticket orbtz-airline-ticket orbiz-airline-ticket orbit-airline-ticket orbitzairline-ticket orbitz-irline-ticket orbitz-arline-ticket orbitz-ailine-ticket orbitz-airine-ticket orbitz-airlne-ticket orbitz-airlie-ticket orbitz-airlin-ticket orbitz-airlineticket orbitz-airline-icket orbitz-airline-tcket orbitz-airline-tiket orbitz-airline-ticet orbitz-airline-tickt orbitz-airline-ticke o rbitz-airline-ticket or bitz-airline-ticket orb itz-airline-ticket orbi tz-airline-ticket orbit z-airline-ticket orbitz -airline-ticket orbitz- airline-ticket orbitz-a irline-ticket orbitz-ai rline-ticket orbitz-air line-ticket orbitz-airl ine-ticket orbitz-airli ne-ticket orbitz-airlin e-ticket orbitz-airline -ticket orbitz-airline- ticket orbitz-airline-t icket orbitz-airline-ti cket orbitz-airline-tic ket orbitz-airline-tick et orbitz-airline-ticke t orbitz-airline-ticket rorbitz-airline-ticket obrbitz-airline-ticket oribitz-airline-ticket orbtitz-airline-ticket orbiztz-airline-ticket orbit-z-airline-ticket orbitza-airline-ticket orbitz-iairline-ticket orbitz-arirline-ticket orbitz-ailrline-ticket orbitz-airiline-ticket orbitz-airlnine-ticket orbitz-airliene-ticket orbitz-airlin-e-ticket orbitz-airlinet-ticket orbitz-airline-iticket orbitz-airline-tcicket orbitz-airline-tikcket orbitz-airline-ticeket orbitz-airline-ticktet prbitz-airline-ticket oybitz-airline-ticket oryitz-airline-ticket orbctz-airline-ticket orbizz-airline-ticket orbitp-airline-ticket orbitzfairline-ticket orbitz-jirline-ticket orbitz-airline-ticket orbitz-aimline-ticket orbitz-airuine-ticket orbitz-airlbne-ticket orbitz-airlite-ticket orbitz-airlinv-ticket orbitz-airlinepticket orbitz-airline-cicket orbitz-airline-tvcket orbitz-airline-tiiket orbitz-airline-ticwet orbitz-airline-tickzt orbitz-airline-ticker Suddenly we are all supposed to orbitz airline ticket snap into self-discipline like lean teenage greyhounds.
10 p.m. Ugh. Perpetua, slightly senior and orbitz airline ticket therefore thinking she is orbitz airline ticket in charge of orbitz airline ticket me, was at orbitz airline ticket her most obnoxious and orbitz airline ticket bossy, going on and orbitz airline ticket on to orbitz airline ticket the point of orbitz airline ticket utter boredom about latest half-million-pound property she is orbitz airline ticket planning to orbitz airline ticket buy with her rich-but-overbred boyfriend, Hugo: 'Yars, yars, well it is orbitz airline ticket north-facing but they've done something frightfully clever with the light.'
I looked at orbitz airline ticket her wistfully, her vast, bulbous bottom swathed in a tight red skirt with a bizarre three-quarter-length striped waistcoat strapped across it. What a blessing to orbitz airline ticket be orbitz airline ticket born with such Sloaney arrogance. Perpetua could be the size of a Renault Espace and not give it a thought. How many hours, months, years, have I spent worrying about weight while Perpetua has been happily looking for lamps with porcelain cats as bases around the Fulham Road? She.
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